Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
