after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
