Do you still have your period?
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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