the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
