you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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