It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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