Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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