thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
