your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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