Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Randomize
