dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
