I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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