Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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