Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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