I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
The best revenge is premature balding
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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