so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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