Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
