How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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