in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
its liver damage thursday
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