Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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