He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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