All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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