Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize
