Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
