I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
My feet surprised me
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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