Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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