Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
