Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
