why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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