I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
