I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
