so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Randomize
