Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
