can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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