I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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