i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He? As in you personified your dick?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Dicks are not precious.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize
