He kissed a someone with a penis
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
