just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
