Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
