sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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