Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm sobbing to NWA
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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