i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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