singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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