So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
