so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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