operation have a gay friend backfired
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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