Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
