wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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