i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
