i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
