I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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