i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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